A Weekends Journey

A WEEKEND JOURNEY
A Bedtime Story
Part One

Once upon a time there were two Crazy women, a Mother and Daughter,that decided to travel across the deserts of California AND Arizona at night!!!!!
Now, mind you this wasn't the first time or even thrice. They had made this trip dozens of times this was just their most recent flight.
So, into the Crazy Daughter's pickup truck they did climb, the Daughter at the wheel and the Crazy Mother on the passenger side. The Crazy Daughter's Uptight Hubby pleaded "Be careful Be careful, don't drive the whole way tonight!" Now we must be fair to the Uptight Spouse, the only people that marries into a Crazy Family, is either crazy as a loon or Uptight with good concern!
With the overloaded back seat they made their way to the freeway on ramp. Laughing and joking all the way. As they hit the freeway ramp the truck picked up speed. "Here we go," said the Crazy Daughter.
"Yes, indeed," Crazy Mother replied, as she made the sign of the cross.
" Casa Grande, here we come to see our Crazy family, and travel the desert near and wide," was their travel cry.
So down the 5 freeway they did fly, into rush hour traffic they surely would find. No traffic crunch was to be found as the sped on their way, passing town after town, they were well on their way.
Sharing gossip, counting train, they laughed and joked. Their off key sing a longs of Lightning Seeds songs occasionally filling the truck cab.
The windshield was soon full of bugs and butterflies. They tried the windshield washer, but no spray did appear. "What is wrong with our new pickup truck," cried the Crazy Daughter, "Now the windshield is full of squashed and smeared bug"
"Try it again ,"was the Crazy Mothers reply. After another passing of the wiper blades, Crazy Mother said, "That was a bad idea. The bug are more spread"
Over the mountains and El Centro in the passed, they knew Yuma was close by under
a thunder storm filled sky. Here was were they know the Uptight Hubby would want them to stay. Not even to Yuma they made up their Crazy minds, "We aren't sleepy and having too good a time! We will stop for fuel and be on our way!"
As they crossed from California to the Arizona state side, the Crazy Daughter spotted a strange yellowish light from behind. Diamond in shape, it was easy to see, it took up the rear view mirror, but, strangely not visible in either mirrors on the sides. When she turned around it was not to be found. Then up a head she saw the lights of a car, the light in the rear view mirror flickered then died. But, as the tail light of the west bound car faded from sight the diamond shape light was back, much brighter then bright.
16th street was their usual stop. They pulled into the Texaco and stop in front of their usual pump. Now let me describe in the simplest of term, the small size of the Crazy women, short, just under 5 foot 2. It must have been funny to those around to see, these two Crazy Women climbing the side of the full size truck like a couple of monkeys. Washing away all the smeared bug they could reach. Funnier still had to be the strange sight of these short Crazy Women looking at the engine as if they could see the reason the windshield washer had died. They hadn't a clue so down came the hood and off to Jack in the Box they did go.









Part Two

Into the parking lot of Jack in the Box they did go, stopping outside to make a telephone call. Uptight Hubby answered the phone. "Oh good you got there safe. Now, PLEASE stay the night."
Oh no," was the Crazy Daughters' reply, "Mother will have some coffee, and I a chocolate shake. Between the caffeine and sugar we will be up the whole night."
"I do not like this over night drive, Please reconsider," the Uptight Hubby did cry. Though he already knew he was wasting his breath! They would do as they pleased, as they always did!
Into Jack in the Box the crazy women did go. Little did the Crazy Daughter know, Crazy Mother had Her Crazy Spoiled Grandson on her mind. Up to the counter the Crazy Mother did go, asking which toys they had in their happy meals that night. Making the poor girl open bag after bag till she saw the color Crazy Spoiled Grandson did not have. So she ordered a happy meal and a large coffee to go.
"Crazy Mother," the Crazy Daughter did say, "We have a massive sandwich we hardly have touched"
" Oh, I'm not hungry, my Boy does not have this toy yet!"
So the pair left this place, with a hamburger happy meal and the Crazy Mothers', caffeine fix.
Once again, eastward bound. "We made it to Yuma in very good time." The Crazy Daughter said proud. "Let's do the something on our trek to C.G.!"
With the diamond shape light in tow. Only showing it's self when they were on the highway alone. It would grow ever whiter as on ward they'd go!
"What shall we talk of on this last part of our trip?" Crazy Mother asked.
"Well," replied the Crazy Daughter, " we spoke of all the folk we know back home, let's talk of the folks we're going to see! It's only 9:30 and we have time to delve in deep."
"Let's start with your Crazy Prison Guard Cousin, and the company she keeps." Crazy Mother decides.
Crazy Daughter and Crazy Prison Guard Cousin, you see had never been able to be in the same room without showing their claws. Last time they met it was a strange sight to see, these Crazy Cousins got along as well as can be. No claws were shown. No nasty words were exchanged. They must have been sick!
Crazy Prison Guard Cousin you see had found a love match, 6 years her junior was the man she called her Better Half! The Crazy Women had spent several hours with Crazy Prison Guard Cousin and her Cowboy named Bob!
As they drove on through the night, Crazy Mother laughed and teased. "I still can't believe that you said Cowboy Bob was NOT good enough for your Crazy Prison Guard Cousin."
Looking around at trains and other sights the could see that night. It wasn't till the next day they found it had been a moonless night!
As they approached Gila Bend, only an hour to their stop, their diamond light turned back to yellow then faded out that night.
Casa Grande was so close now, in less then an hour and they would be there. The heaven had opened earlier and the road was coated with rain, so they had to slow their pace. "We will be there almost a hour early," said the Crazy Daughter. "So there is no need to race"
" You actually driving slow?" The Crazy Mother asked "I thought you liked to fly. Never do you drive at such a slow pace."





















Part Three

Trekell Rd. off ramp was as empty as can be. So in 5 minutes or maybe less they were in downtown Casa Grande.
"Home" They cheered as the Best Western sign appeared. " We made it in one piece!"
Into the Lobby they did go, to be greeted by the staff. "Welcome back ladies," said the clerk behind the desk. "Have you been to Wal-Mart? Is this the reason your checking in so late?"
"No," replied the Crazy Women. "We have not been there yet!"
"We drove in from California, and just got to town. We do not have reservation for the night, we were told it would be all right."
"Do you have our discount card, you stay here often enough," asked the night time clerk.
"No we don't," answered the Crazy Daughter. "What discount do you have?."
"We know the two of you well, since you always stay here, we will give you tonight on the house. The next two night are half price!"
"Thank you so much. Your so very kind," the Crazy Women replied. "Is the lobby phone working, it was broken the last time."

To the lobby pay phone, after collecting their room keys. The Crazy Daughter had to call her Uptight Spouse. She dialed in the numbers and the phone began to ring. When the Uptight Hubby answered the phone, the Crazy Daughter announced, "We have arrived".
"Did you have any problems? Did you get a room?" the Uptight Hubby asked.
The Crazy Daughter said, "No there were no problems. Yes, we got a room. We got half price on the room for the next two night, and tonight is on the house."
"That is great! Do they know you're the one that broke their phone, the last time you were in town? Now please get some sleep I know you two, no shopping runs to Wal-Mart tonight. You had a long, long drive. Call me in the morning. You to must be very tired!"
The Crazy Women pulled the truck around to just in front of their door. Unloading their bags and assorted junk. They were not sleepy, so they unpacked their things, made some tea and talked till 1am!

















Part Four
Day Two

6 am came around quickly, as mornings first rays appeared. Dancing across the wall like a spider spinning it's web.
The Crazy Daughter sat up in bed and threw a pillow at her snoring Crazy Mother head. "Wake up!" she did cry. "I've got so little sleep, your snoring kept me up half the night! Roll over now, so I can get some sleep!"
From the foot of her bed the Crazy Mother lifted her covers to reveal one half opened eye, as she replied, "You know that I snore yet you asks me along, now quite your bitching so I can get some rest!"
Knowing that she would get no more sleep, the Crazy Daughter rose from her bed to see the new day. Peering out the window to see the glorious colors of the early morning desert sky. Feeling the warmth of the sun on her face, she looked down and declared, "Damn, we have to wash butterflies from the front of the truck again!"
Turning around towards the bathroom she went to get ready for the day. As the door closed behind her, smiling as she heard the television switching on as Crazy Mother was searching for the channel MTV was on. At least she was awake!
They would be gone the whole day, so the Crazy Daughter prepared a cooler with fresh veggies, juice, cheese, crackers and bread. Then put her clothes and robe away.
Crazy Mother went to the mini-fridge for her insulin injection of the day. As they were leaving the room, Crazy Mother look about the room and picked up a bag of chee-tos snacks.
"Where do we go first?" Ask The Crazy Daughter as they climbed into the truck. " You took your shot and in a short time you'll have to eat or be sick for a week!"
"Oh, I'll be just fine." The Crazy Mother said with great cheer. "Let's just stop at Denney's for fresh brewed coffee is what I must have."
So into to Denney's they did stroll the Crazy Mother ordering one coffee and one decaf to go, as the Crazy Daughter went to the phone. She had to call her Uptight Hubby before they went on their way.
Uptight Hubby answered the phone on the very first ring, "Your up early did you get enough rest? The dogs have been worried and kept me up most of the night."
"Yes I slept." She did say. "Now it's time to go wash the truck! Then down to Tucson for the day."
Uptight Hubby added in his list for the day. "Don't forget to wash the top of the cab, I just don't know how you will do it! When you get to the land remember to measure each and everything so you can draw a map! Don't forget to place our name tags on the mail box! Also remember to stay out of the sun, stay in the shade!"
Crazy Daughter just nodded, as she thought, "Why the hell didn't he do it himself when he was here! How can I stay in the shade when measuring under desert skies"
Then they said their good byes. As she hung up the phone she recalled to herself, this is how she had broken the phone.
Returning to the truck, the Crazy Mother asked, "How is your Uptight Hubby? Where do we go next? From our hotel room, I called you Crazy Aunt and Crazy Uncle, not even your Psycho Pup cousin or his wife were home."
"I told you to call them before we left on this trip." Said the Crazy Daughter. "Perhaps we won't see them this time around."
" Let's go wash the truck," said the Crazy Mother. "Then call them again."



















































Part Five

At the carwash the Crazy Daughter, with the hose in hand, climbed into the pickups bed.
"What are you doing up there?" asked the Crazy Mother, as she fed coins into the slots. "What setting do you want?"
" I have to clean the top of the cab. This is the only way I can." the Crazy Daughter said with a smile. " Let start with high pressure wash."
"High pressure wash it is. Let's hope it doesn't sent you tumbling from the back of the truck. Don't forget your not 90 pounds yet!"
"Crazy Mother please," She sighed . "We've used these things before"
With a sputter then a whoosh, the soapy water came with greater pressure then the Crazy Daughter had hoped. It almost sent her flying. The Crazy Mother looked on with concern. Concern gave way to laughter at the sight. "I told you, I warned you. Your such a funny sight!! "
Crazy Mothers laughter turned into a shriek, as Crazy Daughter, in an attempt to gain control, pointed the spray almost straight in the air. Down came a shower of cold soapy water right on Crazy Mothers head.
Now the Crazy Daughter laughed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! That was not planned. I had no control!"
Crazy Mother said, while shaking the water from her hair. "I want to believe you. Really I do! You must understand, it hard to believe you when your laughing so had you can barely stand!! "
"Now be more careful, I do not want a third shower for the day"
So the two Crazy Women washed the truck and were on their way.
Beads of water sparkled in the bright clear morning sun. Casting little rainbow, that dance upon the hood.
"Maybe we should have dried it before we went along our way." Crazy Mother said.
"Why?" the Crazy Daughter asked. "The sun is warm and the way that we drive, it will be dry in two blocks flat! Are you hungry yet? You still have to eat!"
"No I fine, my coffee has cooled to just the right temp!" "We should stop so I can call your Crazy Aunt and Crazy Uncle again."
"Where shall stop?" Asked the Crazy Daughter with a grin.
"Your such a funny girl. You know damn well were I'd like to go!"
"Don't forget, Crazy Mother, you angered your God! You asked to go some where other then the house of the all powerful Lord Wally, and he's a jealous God!"
"He will forgive me that one mistake." The Crazy Mother replied. I will grovel and beg mercy for this one mistake."
"Well you better, or they will remove you from the place!"
Down Florence Blvd., Casa Grande's main drag, headed for the freeway, with a stop at Wal- Mart along the way.









Part Six

Now before our little story goes much farther it must be known, in and around this town of Casa Grande, is where most of Crazy Mothers siblings are found. Four Crazy Aunts, one Crazy Uncle and a multitude of Crazy Cousins with their Crazy Children. The Crazy Aunt they were stopping to call, married a Crazy Man and had two Psycho Pup sons. Psycho Pup Number One gave them Crazy Baby Cakes, a little Grandson.

Into the vast Wal-Mart parking lot they drove. Parking the truck off to one side.
"Damn it Crazy Daughter," the Crazy Mother cried. "Don't you know how to park close to the stores!"
"Stop complaining!" Crazy Daughter said "It's good exercise to stretch your short legs. Let us go find the phones!"
As they approached the Crazy Mothers Wal-Mart shrine, they spied the pay phone by the door.
"Oh, it's occupied!" Crazy Mother said.
"Look closer and you'll see, it's the Crazy Uncle you tried to call!"
As Crazy Uncle hung up the phone he turn to see his Crazy Sister-in-law and Crazy Niece. He smile as he greeted them and said, "Well, it's about damn time. I knew you'd show up here. You always do!"
"Crazy Uncle how are you?" asked the Crazy Daughter as she gave him a hug. "What is this in your hand? A glass of orange juice!?"
" Well there goes our belief if cut you would bleed hot coffee not blood!" Crazy Mother added in.
"Well" Said the Crazy Uncle, "You should never assume! When did you get in? You should have called us then!"
"We got in passed 11 PM, and didn't wish to wake you." The Crazy Women said.
"Well hell we were up," Crazy Uncle said with a grin. We bought 30 pounds of chilies and your Crazy Sister has been roasting them for the last week! Let's go inside so you can visit your shrine, Wally World awaits you just inside these doors. As we shop tell me your plans for the day ahead."
So into Wal-Mart they wandered about talking of the days plans. Crazy Uncle was going to Chandler for the day, looking for toys to go with his sporty little cars. The Crazy Women were headed south to check on Crazy Daughter land. Then the two would explore, Tucson, the town that would soon be Crazy Daughter home.
As the trio departed the store, they made plans to meet later that night.
"Good bye Crazy Uncle. We will see you tonight!" The Crazy Women said.
"Good Bye, Crazy Women have a safe trip."

As they pulled out of the lot Crazy Daughter said, "I saw no groveling or begging Crazy Mother. Once again you angered your God."
"What is he going to do?" Defiantly asked Crazy Mother. "Give me bad credit."
"To late for that!" Crazy Daughter laughed.








Part Seven

By 10: 30 am, these Crazy Women were almost to Crazy Daughters land. Taking in the beauty of the mountains and the clear mid-morning sky. Crazy Mother rattled on with the same old stories she always told when she got bored.
"We 're almost to Ina Road. With a multitude of restaurants around, do you want to stop and eat?" Asked the Crazy Daughter.
"No, I'm do not! Now let me be." Snapped Crazy Mother. "I will let you know when I want to eat!"
"Well let's just hope you don't faint first." Replied the Crazy Daughter. "We're always forgetting to eat!"

Exiting the freeway they headed west. Over the cactus studded mountains of the National Monument. Passing houses large and small, till they reached Trail Dust Road. Pulling into the oversized dirt driveway and driving through open the gate.
"See what I mean, these people were such jerks" Crazy Daughter growled. "They didn't even have decency to close the gate! Did you see my mail Box? Let get start measuring the land."
"It so big Crazy Daughter, must we measure each inch?"
"Yes we must Crazy Mother! If we don't my Uptight Hubby will be upset! This is why we made this trip. It's not that big, just an acre and a half!"
So out of the truck the Crazy Women slid, Crazy Mother grabbing her bag of Chee-tos snacks and Crazy Daughter a note pad, pencil and a giant measuring tape.
"Where shall we start? There's so much here" Crazy Mother asked in between munches on her Chee-tos snacks.
Measurement after measurement the Crazy Pair measured all that was there. Jumping over plants they landed on many ant hills. By the back fence they heard a rattle and Crazy Mother decided to call it a day. For more then two hours they measured what was there.
"If you think I'm going to measure the entire fence Crazy Daughter your just plain nuts!" Crazy Mother whined. "The sun is too hot and is burning my scalp."
"Well let's just measure a couple of panels and hope there all the same." Crazy Daughter replied.
"Do as you like. I'll go looking for the mail box" Crazy Mother said as she turned. Leaving Crazy Daughter to measure the fences and gate.
Crazy Daughter was wondering around when she heard Crazy Mother speaking to someone. Running to the front gate and down the driveway. "I don't believe it. You've done it again, meeting my new neighbors before my Uptight Hubby and I can!"
Crazy Mother turned with a smile. "I found your mail box. This is New Neighbor Bill."
"It nice to meet you." Said New Neighbor Bill. "The last people that lived there were down right scary!"
"Well with us there is nothing to fear. It's just my Uptight Hubby, myself and four Crazy Fat Dogs!"
"Come on Crazy Mother lets go lock up the gate and let New Neighbor Bill get back to work. We still have much to do."

Locking the gate Crazy Daughter climb back into the truck where Crazy Mother waited.
"It's so beautiful out here, Crazy Daughter. I'm sure you'll be happy. Your new neighbor seems very nice! Please turn on the air conditioner, it's hotter then hell!"
So the Crazy Women were on their way, to see what trouble they could get into for the rest of the day!
























Part Eight


South Tucson was the very next stop. Here Crazy Daughter was suppose to choose a new house.
"Crazy Mother your looking kind of pale. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm feeling fine. Is this the place?" Crazy Mother replied. As they pulled into a parking space.
In and out of the modal home they roamed. Not having what Crazy Daughter wanted, she turned to Crazy Mother, who had become quite ill!
"Crazy Mother you must now eat! Look at you!! You're as pale as a ghost! I begged you! I asked you! I'll take you to the hospital, if you don't now behave!!!"
"Into the truck now, Crazy mother!!!" Crazy Daughter said with a shove.
On the road again, they made their way, to a South Tucson restaurant. It was late in the day.
"Now where is the restaurant, that we were told, was the best place around?" Crazy Daughter asked, as she wandered around, the area of Tucson where most gang members can be found.
Crazy Mother was no help. "Look at that place, let's stop there!" Then half way through the U-turn she said. " No I changed my mind. Let's go to Micha's as we planned!"
"Crazy Mother, I'm telling you now! No more changing your mind! I've made ten illegal U-turn in less then 4 blocks!!! I'll take you to Micha's but you must behave. Or it's Mc Donald's for you, not even Jack in the Box!"
"Yuck! I will behave! You're being so cruel. I have to eat, my vision is getting blurry!
"Gee, I wonder why?" Crazy Daughter teased, "I guess I should have asked you to eat!"
"That's enough out of you!" Crazy Mother replied. "I don't remember seeing you eat either!
"True, But I can still see! There it is straight ahead! We waited so long It's after 4, I don't even feel like eating. This better be good."

Coming to a halt they sliding from the truck.
"The parking lot is almost empty, are you sure this is the place??" Crazy Mother asked, as the two Crazy Women hung on each other as they stumbled their way in.
"I don't think it matter at this point. Look at us we can hardly walk. This will have to do!"
"True, besides I don't think I can make it back to the truck" Crazy Mother sighed.
Laughing out loud, Crazy Daughter couldn't help herself. "It's Saturday night and we are walking like drunks!"
"Yes," Crazy Mother added. "If this is how we walk, just imagine how you were driving."
"Well I don't remember anything and I don't see a line of police cars that might have followed us, it must not have been too bad!!"

Fighting together the weight of the great heavy door. Into Micha's these Crazy women




Part Nine


The cool of the restaurant hit them with a slap, bring an end to their cackling laugh. Trying hard to behave as they were lead to their table.
"Would you like something to drink?" the waiter said with a cautious glare.
"We want big glasses of water right now!" Crazy Mother said.
The waiter handed them the menus and went on his way.
"What shall we have?" Crazy Mother asked. "I'm no longer hungry now!"
"Well we are supposed to have dinner with Crazy Uncle and Aunt! Maybe some soup or a salad would do."
" Yes Crazy Daughter, you're right."
So the browsed the menu to see what they liked, it was hard to choose, the liked most everything!! Snacking on the chip and salsa, they were having trouble in making up their Crazy minds!! Back and forth the poor waiter did go, waiting for a decision to come in! Finally he made a brave stab, "Let me choose for you. Do you Like Carne Asada? we make a very good one in chimi style."
The Crazy Women agreed in a snap. "Wonderful!!" Crazy Mother declared. We're not thinking to clear!
Off to the kitchen to place the order, the waiter turned with a knowing smile!
Sitting across from one another, partly recovered, Crazy Mother said. "You look like hell, Crazy Daughter! Oh I forgot to ask for a side of beans"
To that Crazy Daughter returned. "You look no better! The waiter will come back soon, you can order it then! I have to go to the truck I want to look at the home floor plans we got."
Up and out the door, leaving Crazy mother on her own. By the time she got back their food was there.
"What is this?" Crazy Daughter asked. you order your bean and a tortilla, why not just order it as a burrito?"
"I wasn't think. Don't you dare say it"
" I'm sorry that's too easy Crazy Mother, when do you think!"
"Just eat your food and behave! It's all very good I think you will like it. They brought an extra plate so we can share."
Picking at the assorted foods on the table, they ate till they were full. They order a dinner to go, for Crazy Aunt and Uncle.
" This is really good, but there's still too much food!!" Both Crazy Women said.
"We can take it with us." Crazy Daughter sighed. "We have a microwave in our hotel room."
"Great!" Crazy Mother said. "Let's get going"
Paying the bill, they went on their way.