Dipping into Dorkiness

Dipping Into Dorkiness

All my life I've had friends come and go, like everyone else. Some brief, others are close as family. All of them leave permanent memories, good and bad. This is a collection of stories, that have left happy memories, with a dorky twist. With the simple truth, we all are dorky deep down. It make life so much fun! For that I am eternally grateful!

Am I awful to call them dorky? Not if you consider I think of myself as the reigning queen of dorkidom! I found we all have our dorky side. To all I write about, I do it with the greatest love. With that said time to dip into dorkiness.


Ladies Man

Years ago, when I was getting married I asked my much younger cousins to be my ring bearer and flower girls.

Now with little girls it is not hard to get them to agree to dress up as little princesses. In fact one of the girls asked to be a flower girl. How could I say no to a lovely face like hers.

But this is about my ring bearer! He was all boy and was not interested in wearing a tuxedo. Bribery was used to get get him to agree to take the job.

Once he agreed we were in full planning of the wedding. The whole wedding party was fitted for their wedding finery.

Then came the bridal shower. All the ladies, from my family and friends coming together for the pre wedding party. Of course they brought there children. One little girl planted herself in front of me to help unwrap the gifts.

My ring bearer was there but at some point during the party he became quite. I thought it was because he was one of the few boys there.

Later, he said he did not want to be the ring bearer! He wouldn't say why. Then he finally said that if little girl that helped open the gifts was the flower girl he wouldn't do it. She wasn't 'pretty enough!' We then pointed out his two cousins that would be the flower girls. He looked them up and down and said ok they are okay!

You Want to buy What?

After I closed my Dollar store, I took a job, as an assistant manager at a western clothing shop. I manager to fracture both ankles at once. So I had to walk with a cane on my good days and crutches on my bad days.

I had gotten pretty good about getting around with this handicap. So I continued to work.

Along came the holidays. The store was very busy and I was on the sales floor all the time helping the staff with their customers. I was using my cane one night when an older woman came up to me and started talking to me. She then out of the blue asked, 'if I buy your cane do I get to take you home with me!'

I was completely cought off guard. I was used to the cowboys asking me out but this was a first. I meekly told her my Mother wouldn't like it if I didn't come home and hurried off.

I found the biggest of my cashiers and stayed next to her till the lady left the store! On her way out she once again offered to take me home! But then the whole staff knew and wanted to take bids from the lady for me!



Transplanting Trees

Many years ago when I moved into a home I decided I didn't want 2 ornamental trees, in the front yard. I mentioned it to my friend, he said he wanted them. So we set a date for the transplant.

We got started and as we worked we happily chatted the whole time. The trees were in a narrow planter, that was the first problem, as he started to dig out the first tree. Well, we managed to cut the lines for the pathway lights, the water line was next casualty. At this point I should point out the trees were the same height as me. As he dug, I was pushing the tree trying to loosen the dirt from the roots. He finally got the tree roots uncovered, except for a long root. To save more digging he cut it We then went to work on the second. Again, the long root was left, so it to was cut.

Both of us had small cars, so I borrowed my ex-husbands van. We loaded the trees into the van. And off to his house we went. He had already pre dug the holes and we just dropped them into the waiting holes. Both of us covered with dirt, I left to go vacuum the van, we forgot to put plastic down before loading the trees into it. I don't think we ever got all the dirt out of that van.

A couple of week later, my friend called again. He said the trees had died. It turns out the long root we cut were the tap root, what ever that is, when we cut them we killed the trees.

Another couple of week passed and he called to set up a time to cut his hair. I asked his if he got rid of the dead trees, and he replied, "No, I was thinking it would be nice to spray paint them silver and place a light that changes colors under it. What do you think?" All I could do was laugh, it was such a dorky idea, I loved it! Alias, it never came to pass. I really don't think his homeowners association would have like it.


FAN MAIL

While living in Arizona I opened one of the first dollar stores in the area. It was named after one of my dog. When I went to put together a commercial, I was giving scripts that included, after the name of the store, the announcer would say, ‘woof woof!’ I wasn’t too happy with that, so I wrote my own commercial.

After that, I took care of all advertisement. One Christmas, I did a Christmas special, were I walked through the store, showing the reporter, all the special purchases I had that year. I had thought to have my employees dress as elves and me as Mrs. Claus! Time was an issue so, instead, I opted for a red cocktail dress, and my employees wore their Christmas best.

I worked for days, to sort and set up my Christmas displays. The day came, and I was putting the last touches on the store, when the film crew and reporter showed up. I rushed to the back to change. When I got out the store looked like a winter wonderland! Light, tinsel, and garland everywhere!

I walked around the store, showing our little treasures, telling the history of the stores name, and introducing my Mother and staff. Everything went perfect! Even though I was very nervous, I didn’t leave anything out!

When it aired, I could tell it was going to be a success! The next day, we were packed with people that just had to have our products! It was better then I could hope for. People came in and felt as if they knew the staff and myself, from the special.

About, a week after the special ran, I received a strangely marked letter. I found it was from a local prison! I had gotten fan mail from prison! I had to laugh. It was just too dorky for words! I sat and read it. It was the first and only time this Huntington Beach girl had been called ‘home girl!’

Being dorky old me, I proudly kept my fan mail. Showing it off to the regulars, that shopped there. I was showing it one day when I lady I had never met, heard me talking about it. While still browsing, she told me to be careful. It turned out she saw the special, while working at the prison. She told me to be careful, it wasn’t a joke to them! They were serious. She said something about pictures!

Well, I never appeared on another commercial for the shop. It was the first and last fan mail this dorky ‘ home girl’ ever got!!!





Before Minni Vanilli

I grew up on a street with many kids. When I was about 8 years old my brother Fred, age 10 came up with the idea to put on a concert. None of us played instruments, but it wasn't an issue. His idea was to play records and pretend we could play. Fred was of course the lead singer, my other brother, Tony was on the fake drums, and Michelle out neighbor and I were back ground singers. Another neighbor, Joanne, who was in her teens, put way to much makeup on Michelle and myself. We looked awful, to say the least.

Under Fred control we turned the garage into a concert hall. When we were done, Fred charge family and neighbors to see us 'play'.

It was such a cheesy show, as Fred changed the record himself, Michelle and I lost interest often. We started arguing who should be the singer. The audience joined in the debate, but Fred was not letting go of the lead. When he felt the had their moneys worth, he told the audience to go home.

While, we put the garage back in order, Fred counted and kept the majority of money. He thinking was it was his idea, we were just back up, so he got the most. We being dorky kids believed him!


Fred came up with many crazy ideas as we grew up, and we all followed his lead. sometimes we'd get in trouble, like the time we turned our backyard into a miniature golf course. Digging water hazard, in the back yard, is not a way to make your parents happy. Just one of the dorky things kids do!





Furbie Calling

A few years back I made a business trip to California. While I was there, I bought 3 furbies. One each for my two nephews, and one for myself. The furbies, a toy that was wildly popular at the time, would start talking in baby talk, and as time went on it's vocabulary grew.

I had just left Yuma, AZ on my way home to Tucson, AZ. The furbie my lone passenger, was seated by my side. It was getting late and I remembered I wanted to call my friend. So using my cell phone I dialed his number. Three rings, and the answering machine picked up. With the furbie sitting next to me, I shook the toy till it started talking. I then put the phone next to the talking toy. The high pitched voice of the furbie, "feed me, ummm yum... love you.." At that point I put the phone to my ear, giggling into the receiver. I was about to talk when the phone lost connection.

I continued on my drive home. It was getting dark so I didn't call him back. I thought he would have to know it was me. Who else would put a talking stuffed animal on the phone. Who indeed.

Later, I realized I never called him back. I had just gotten to my office and was about to enter the building, when I called him. The phone rang, and he answered.

"Hey, how are you my dear?" I happily sang into the phone.

"Were have you been? he replied. "I'm fine, I haven't heard from you in a while."

"I called you earlier in the week," I answered. "Didn't you get my message? It was Saturday night."

The phone went silent, and I thought the phone cut out again.
Then he said, "That was you? You left that message?"

"Yes, wasn't it cute? It's my new furbie"

Again, he asked, "That was you? Why would you leave a message like that?"

"What's wrong? It's just a toy."

I should say that he was a former attorney. Not realizing that would have a lasting effect on his life, he told me, there had been a death threat against him.

He used three way calling to play it back for me. Then he said, "There it's a death threat. It said I'm going to kill you!" I couldn't help laughing, at that point! "It's a toy, saying, feed me.. yummm... love you...," "No, he replied, It's saying I'm going to kill you! We all heard it!"

I stopped laughing and asked who "we all" were. He said the police and the FBI, had copies of the message and were trying to trace the call!"

Perhaps I should have had a hint of panic in me at that point, but instead I burst into more laughter at the police and FBI looking into a furbie phone call! How, could they not know it was the most popular toy at the time? How did they get a death threat out of the message.

"It's not funny, you could get arrested for making a prank call, that involve the FBI!"

"Well, what do you want me to do, take the furbie to the FBI in chains?" I answered, leaning against the wall from laughing so much!

"I'm sorry my dear, my phone cut out before I could say hello."

"Next time call back, so I know! You always make weird calls!"

"Then why didn't you know it was me? I am sorry though" I said trying not to laugh!

"Well, I better call them so they know it was a false alarm. I hope you don't get into trouble!" With that we said goodbye.

I made my way upstairs to my office. Passing my desk, I fell into the futon sofa I had in my office. Looking up at my desk, my eyes scanned the assortment of Egyptian art, and photos on my desk. My eyes were still running with tears of laughter, when they came to rest on the wanted criminal. The furbie!

Over the years since then, I often thought of getting a dog chain and wrapping it around the furbie. I'd then ship the fugitive to my friend, for whatever justice he saw fit! It would have been a perfectly dorky ending!



The Desert Witch Takes Flight!


Years ago, and about 20 to 25 pounds under weight, I was living in Tucson AZ, I went shopping at a near by mall. It was early fall, still warm, and breezy. I parked my new truck far from other cars, and walked into the shops. I wondered around for a while, and then, when I didn't find what I was hunting for, I bought a veggie sandwich to go and started for my truck.

As I walked out to where I had parked the wind swirled around me, as I happily sang to myself. As I thought about where I would go next. I decided I'd stop and get a hamburger and maybe some fries, for my dogs, then right home. There was only one car park out were I had parked, I didn't know that the couple who owned the car left the mall right after me. The wind block the sound of their voices from my ears. I got to my truck, disarmed the alarm, and was unlocked the door, when all of the sudden a dirt devil came up and lifted me off the ground, enough for it to turn me around, and drop me on my bottom! Then to add insult to injury, it took my sandwich! I sat there shocked, not really believing what had just happened. That's when I realized the people parked near me had seen the whole thing. I hear the couple talking as they looked at me still on the ground. I didn't think they could lift people like that, the woman said. The man replied, she doesn't weigh anything, of course it can, cause it just did.

One thing I might add is the song I was singing was from a group called the Lightning Seeds. I had just gotten to the point in the lyrics that said, "Don't be scared the wind will come and blow you home, don't be afraid cause your not alone." When whoosh the wind picked me up, and I found I wasn't alone! That was just the dorky cherry on it all!

I meekly scramble back into my truck, and when straight home. I was so shocked at what had happened I had to tell someone, so I e-mailed my good friend, who gave me the nickname the desert witch. He thought it too funny, and replied that I should eat a burger or 2 to prevent it from happening again!

From then on I tried to stay in if those dirt devils were out. This desert witch didn't want to take flight again! Once was dorky, twice would just be sad!



Toupee's away!!!

I was taught how to cut hair at a young age by my grandfather. We used my mother's wigs, without her permission, I might add. I didn't tell her till my Grandfather had passed away.

When I was 18 I was told to take a year off college and do something I liked. I was having health problem, and working and going to school was too much, my doctor told me. My idea of relaxing, was enrolling in a barber school. I figured it was something I could use, while I finished my education.

My instructor was an older man named Mr. Marsh. He was known for being a bit stern. Part of going to this school was learning how to take care of toupee. Things like weaving hair into it, cleaning, and styling. Mr. Marsh wore a high quality toupee.

Not long after starting there Mr. Marsh decided I was good enough to start doing the weekly cleaning and styling of his toupee. He made the mistake of telling me to come get his toupee when it was time for the cleanings. The school had two long aisles, with barber stations lining both sides. Mr. Marsh would be minding his own business, when I'd come running down the aisle behind him, with a pair of tongs in my hands, snatch the toupee from his head, yelling, cleaning time! I'd continued running till I got to the sink were I had set up for the cleaning. I might add, once I snatched the toupee, I'd holed it high over my head like someone running with the Olympic torch! Maybe it's my dorkiness that made me scalp the poor guy every week!

After I graduated and got my license, I went to work at a salon in Irvine California. I started my own little business doing toupee. I had a great following with this business, and making good pay. Then a man came in that changed all that.

He had been married for two years, and never let his wife see him without it on. When I removed the toupee, his scalp was green with sores! I got the tongs and threw his toupee in the trash! I told him to go to the doctor, and to stop wearing the toupee. He got mad, gabbed his toupee and left the salon. I haven't touched a toupee since then. Even I'm not that dorky!



Dancing With my Friends

Back when I was 19 years old, I had a good friend named Maria. She was full of life and always trying new things. She was Asian, and decided she wanted to explore the Asian culture in Southern California. I got dragged along for the ride!

In Westminister, California, there is an area called "Little Saigon", and that is where, Maria chose for us to go dancing one night. We got all dressed up and went to a club she been told of.

First, we had the language problem. Most of the people there didn't speak English. Maria was happily trying to blend in, while felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb!

We found a table and sat down. It wasn't long before we got asked to dance. The gentlemen were pleasant, but the language barrier kept talking to a minimum. Then, they all seemed to leave me alone, when a tall, good looking well spoken gentleman came up to me. We danced and talked, he invited us over to his table, were he was with a large group of "business associates".

He told me he had just returned from Saigon, on business. I was starting to get a bad feeling about this guy, the way everyone was almost bowing to him. When he started to pressure me for my number, I got really nervous. He gave me his, and kept asking for mine. I finally gave him a number and told him to call on Monday, any time. I gave him the number to the pay phone at the barber school I had just finished going to. The school is closed on Mondays. I may be dorky, but I know how to be safe! We departed after the number exchange. Before we left the club, the guard, there pulled me aside and told me to be careful, the tall, well spoken, man was high up in an Asian Mafia type gang. I just glared at Maria, who looked shocked. We got out to my car, and didn't turn the headlights on till we were a block away from that club! I was shaking, and Maria couldn't say sorry enough. I told her from then on, she was on her own, if she wanted to do any cultural research!

A week later I got even. I dragged her to, what for her, was a very boring lecture on archaeology. We never went dancing again! I'm dorky, not malicious!





The First Dig

I have a passion for archaeology. I've had it since the age of 11, when a school history book I opened had a picture of the Egyptian god Anubis. I started writing to archaeological groups in the area. I joined a local group that met once a month.

At one of the meetings, it was announced that a dig at the Old Plaza Church, in down town Los Angeles, needed volunteers, to help excavate the original rectory. There was a time limit, so they needed all the help they could get. My friend and I decided to volunteer. The following week, we made our way up to Los Angeles, with friend and her younger sister.

We got there early in the morning, and reported to the archaeologist in charge. He put us to work sifting the dirt for and smaller items. I was over the moon, my first dig! We happily chattered as we worked. Tourists were asking us questions, and taking our picture. One guy from New York, mail me copies of his photos. I thought it nice of him.

As the day progressed, a group of elderly, Mexican men, started to gather. My being of latin descent, made me a point of interest to these men. Soon they started asking me questions in Spanish, but since I don't speak Spanish, I couldn't answer then.

I was about to load another shovel full of dirt into my sifting tray, when one of these older gentleman, came a grabbed the shovel from my hand! I was shocked, then horrified when he started randomly digging the shovel into the ground! Everyone involved in the dig, called to him to stop, at once. When I grasped what was going on, I grabbed the shovel back. He looked at me shocked, then said, Why are you doing a man's job?" My reply was it wasn't a man's job, and I enjoyed it! He again tried to get the shovel from me, this time he failed. Then asked me why I don't speak Spanish. I told him I wasn't taught the language. He walked away.

Then 5 minutes later he came back and again grabbed the shovel from me, and started digging, again. I was about to reach for the shovel when he told me, "Good home and learn to make tortillas like a good little girl". I just sat there stunned. Then I told him, I had no plans to go home and make tortillas, and to leave me alone. I got kick off my first dig, because of this dorky guy! He didn't bother my friend or her sister, just dorky me!




Rain on the Pyramid of the Sun

I had just graduated High school and my mother and I went to Mexico for my graduation trip. Our first stop was Mexico City. We went to the pyramids out side the city, for the afternoon. Again, my love of archaeology.

We were doing the usual tourist thing and climbing the narrow steps of the pyramid of the sun. I was half way up, when it started to rain. My Mom took off down the pyramid, leaving me stuck there. The stories about how people were killed by falling down the pyramid made me nervous, being that I am such a klutz.

I decided to scoot my way down, on my bottom. It was a slow process, but I felt safe this way. My Mom was at the bottom telling me to hurry up. I noticed a very slender elderly Japanese gentleman standing close to me. He was basically the same size as I was. He was speaking to me, in Japanese, but I couldn't understand him. So I tried to be polite and smiled and nodded. The next thing I knew this slender man picked me up and ran down the pyramid, with me in his arms! We were down in no time, and he gentle lowered me to the ground. I didn't know what to say, so I thanked him, and went to join my Mother, who was a shocked as I was.

I kept thinking, oh goodness, what just happened? Did the little old man really pick me up and run down the pyramid? Yes, he did!

The rain had stopped and we made our way back to the hotel. After that, when I visited Mexico City, I would climb the pyramids, but only if I knew it wasn't going to rain on the pyramid of the sun! Yes, dorkiness international!




Sink or Swim!!!

Growing up in the coastal area of Southern California, water sports are something most people take part in. I on the other hand can't swim! Not for lack of trying, Every summer, my Mother took myself, and two older brother to swimming lesson, at the near by high school.

While all the other kids, jump and dive fearlessly into the pool, I hung on to the side of the pool. I went through all the lessons they gave me, over and over again. It was no use! The teacher would hold me in and I'd go kick and pull the best I could. When the teacher let go of me, I'd be okay, then right to the bottom! 5 years of lesson I couldn't even float!

When I went to the beach, it never failed. The lifeguards would see me trying to swim, and mistake it for drowning. After they pulled me out of the surf, they would politely ask that I don't swim, or try swimming. After a while I stopped going to the beach and try to swim.

The worse was when I was in high school and they required us to take swimming lessons and pass to graduate. I'm sure you can see how this might go.

The coach, who was our teacher, tried very hard working with me. When it came time for us to swim from one end of the pool to the other, I'd push off and get far enough from the edge, then sink, again.

The coach, after a while got tired of having to send one of the boys, or himself to pull me up. So one day I reported for class, ready to sink to the bottom, as usual. I thought it odd that the coach had a rope slung over his shoulder. I didn't ask what it was for. He told us what he had planned for us that day, then told us to get in the pool, except me. Then in front of everyone, he tied the rope around my waist! I couldn't believe it!

I got into the pool with the rest of my classmates and started practicing with everyone else. When it came time to swim across the pool, the coach would walk along the side of the pool. I pushed off the side and tried to swim. When I started to sink, the coach pulled me back to the surface, and I fought my way across the pool, for the first time! From then on, every day the coach tied the rope around my waist, and pull me up, when I'd sink! It was a dorky idea that got me through that class!




Anubis

Back on April 20, 1984, my mother and I were driving when we saw a sign 'cocker spaniel puppies for sale'. I thought we would see a sea of cute blonde fur balls. To my surprise, we found 4 black male, English cocker spaniels. They were all so cute! One of the puppies saw me and came running to me. I picked him up, and cuddled him. At the time I didn't want a puppy. We had two older dogs, and I thought it would be too much. As I walked around the yard, that little puppy would climb on my feet, and fall asleep. When I walk away, he would whimper, and run to me, again sleeping on my feet. Needless to say, he won. I named him Anubis, and took him home.

Anubis was the best dog anyone could ask for. He would do what ever I asked him to do. But he would get mad when he wasn't able to be near me. Once he was trying to get into the shower with me. When I told him no he looked hurt and left. But he got even. My bedroom was dark, and I didn't see he had brought all his tennis balls into the dark bedroom. When I got out of the shower I of course fell as I walked on the tennis balls. I was so mad, as I saw he in the doorway to my room. I took off after him, into the kitchen, were I had just waxed the floors! Well Anubis hit the floor and slid across the floor. I wasn't so lucky. I slipped and fell bruising myself all over! Anubis just pranced across the floor into the yard. I was so mad, but at the same time I had to love how the he had got even, and made me feel so dorky!

A year later, I had abdominal surgery, and just home from the hospital. I was on the patio of our home and my then husband asked if I wanted sometime to eat or a cup of tea. Anubis as always was at my side. When he heard I was being offered food he got up and went to the side of the house. He returned with sometime in his mouth, he dropped it onto my lap. Now Anubis was a beautiful dog that was in great shape. You could see his strong muscles as he walk or jumped, sometimes 6 or 7 feet strait into the air. He dropped into my lap was a not yet dead bird he had brought me, I guess to Feed me. Well, I jumped up trying to free myself from the claws of the bird stuck to my lap. Finally freeing myself from the bird and still screaming, I looked down at Anubis, and with such sad eyes he looked at me and picked up the bird, and mopped off to the side of the house, were he had brought the bird from. It just broke my heart to see those sad eyes. In the 8 short years I had Anubis, These are just two of the many time Anubis made me feel so dorky, and made me smile!








Easy as Riding a Bike!

When I was in junior high I would ride my bike to and from school. I'm not the best bike rider in the world, to say the least. I was all over the street, never really able to keep the bike strait.

I would ride with friends, who would tell me not to ride too close to them. I tried to keep away.

One day we were riding in a group, and happily chatting away.
As usual I was all over the street. My friend slowed for some reason, and my tire clipped the back tire of the nearest bike. Knocking it over, and setting off a chain reaction of falling bikes!

With that simple movement I managed to knock over 8 or 9 riders! The funniest part was I wasn't one of the ones to fall! As I looked at my friends trying to recover from the mass of fallen bike, I couldn't help laughing!

They all looked up at me and said, 'how many times do we have to tell you not too close! I felt bad, but no one was hurt, so it was funny!

Later, when I turned 14, my Dad surprised me with a top of the line ten speed bikes! I was over the moon happy, with my beautiful bright yellow bike. I was so proud riding it to and from high school. Showing off the prize bike to my entire friend!

Then on day, I was happily riding to school when my Father pulled up and told me to get in to his truck. He loaded my bike into the back and drove me the short way to school. He unloaded my bike kissed me good-bye, then, drove off. I later found out, he told my Mom he never knew what an awful bike rider I was. He told her I was all over the road, and he gave me a ride because he was worried I'd get hurt the way I was riding.

Funny part was years later I went with my Mom to a large park, and we rented a bicycle built for 2. We were riding along and my legs got so tired I stopped peddling. We were on gravel and fell over I landed on top of my Mom and the bike! Needless to say, with my dorky bike ride skills, no one ride with me anymore!






Learning to drive!!!

I grew up riding motorcycles, dune buggies, and baja bugs. So you would think I could pass a driving test! Well, it took me 3 tries till I got my license!

The first time I had taken drivers Ed at my high school. I did fine, and thought I was ready for the drivers test.

I was wrong!

I went to the DMV, and took the written, and passed that. Then came the actual driving test!

The man giving me the test was a not very nice grumpy old man! He growled out order to me, and I did my best to follow, what he said. We were driving along a residential area, and doing the standard parking, passing and turning tests. Then we came along a injured large bird in the street. I stopped and when he told me to go, I refused. Not willing to run over a helpless bird! He started yelling at me, and I turned and yelled back, 'I'm not going to kill the bird! At that point he told me I had fail the test. I told him I didn't care, and waited for the bird to limp out of the road, before I went on!

We got back to the DMV, and I told my mother I had failed, and didn't care. At the time I didn't say why I failed.

After that my parents signed me up for driving lessons. My first driving teacher was a lady with a passion for frozen yogurt! So most of my lessons was to drive her to the nearest frozen yogurt store. We would spend the majority of the time parked as she had her yogurt and told me all about her life!

My Mom took me again for another driving test. I was ready this time I believed. I took the written again, and waited for the person to give me the driving test. To my disappointment it was the same grumpy old man! I knew right then and there I would fail, again!

We got into the car and right away started to argue! We went several block, all the time him pointing out every thing he claimed I did wrong. We were yelling at each other after a while, and finally we were back at the DMV. I turned and looked at him, and said, ' you don't have to tell me I failed, I know once I say you were giving the test". He glared at me and said, 'why did you waste my time then?'

I just laughed at him and slid out of the car. He yelled that I'd never get my license!

By the time I got back into the office of the DMV, I was really upset! To make it worse my former Girl Scout leader was there with my Mom. Now this woman for some reason always found reason to hit us in Girl Scouts. She was a German woman, and very unpleasant. She saw I was upset about failing my test and turned a hit me hard in my arm, telling me not to blame my Mother. I guess she was lucky, I had respect for my elders, or I would have hit back! I told her I wasn't blaming my Mom. I was mad about the grumpy old man giving me the test again!

I didn't try for my drivers license again for almost a year. Again my parents got me driving lessons. This time the teacher was actually teaching me. Also my father took me out driving. He later told my Mom I drive like I ride a bike! But I did finally pass my test 4 days after I turned 17 year old.


OH RATS!!!

Where we have the good fortune of having a large yard and garden. With this we get the occasional wild animal even in Huntington Beach. Usually a possum, or squirrel. Thanks to our neighbors unkempt palm trees we started seeing rats.

We knew it had been in our garage and had put down traps and poison where the dogs couldn’t get to it. This went on for months the rat ate the bait from the traps. But, we still didn’t catch it!

Now Dad has a classic El Comino he used to store in the driveway
In the backyard. Well, the car has a problem with the alternator so the battery would die often. He would ask me to start the car and if it
Didn’t start I would get my battery charger and jump-start it.

So, one day I went to start it. Of course it didn’t start. So I opened the hood. Went into the garage to get my battery charger, with Jack, the Jack Russell terrier, happily following.

I got back to the car the charger plugged in, I was connecting it to the battery, when I noticed a clump of leaves in the corner of the engine. I thought it was a build up from the car just sitting there, because there was a smaller one on the other side. Not thinking I grabbed the clump of leaves. It was heavy then it WIGGLED!!!
Out drop a tan colored rat!!! I screamed, it screeched, and jack and I ran as fast as we could back into the house!!!
I never jump-started the car again!!!


Wedding Bells Blues!

Some 20 plus years ago I went to Boston for a Wedding. It was the marriage of my then husbands’ niece. My Mother also came along.

The day of the wedding was as could be as expected. Hectic. When that bridal party was ready to go to the church. So, our trio left to find a place at church.

Now, it was July, in Boston. Hot and humid. We arrived to the church to find the air conditioner was broken. There were sat for 2 hours. Why, 2 hours? The limo forgot to pick up the bride!!! When the bride arrived it was a lovely wedding.

We then headed over to the down town hotel were the reception was to be held. As we approached the hotel and found parking screaming fire trucks passed us. We entered the lobby to be told that the room next to ours was on fire and we have to wait in the lobby or outside. I might add there were over 300 guests at this wedding. All waiting for the fire to be put out. There was news crews from every network in Boston there interviewing the happy couple, and their guests.

Four hour after the reception was to begin they finally let the bridal party into the room. There was a short cocktail time were appetizers were passed out, then dinner.

All seemed well, till the next day……

As it turned out the appetizers and food were left out the whole time during the fire. The ingredients went bad and any one that ate them got food poisoning. Including the groom.
Lucky for my Mother, husband and myself we had gorged on pizza earlier and do not eat.

Even with food poisoning the happy couple left on their honeymoon. Where the Grooms food poisoning just got worse and the bride got sun poisoning. Both ended up in hospital

Upon their reurn to Boston, they were bringing home a new car. Parked in front of their house they open the door just as someone drove by and took the door off. Take about a rough start!!!




Super Bowl


Back in January of 1983 I was planning a little Super Bowl party. Not that I am really a fan. I just liked having little get together.

I had been seeing a young man off and on for a few months, who happened to be from Florida. When the Dolphins made it to the Super Bowl his parent bought ticket for themselves and Doug’ums (yes he told me to call him that! I couldn’t stop laughing!) and his sister.

Well, the day of the game Doug’ums called me and asked me if I wanted to go. His sister was ill. Also, his parents wanted to meet me since I had baked them a cake. I didn’t have to think twice! Of course I wanted to go to the Super Bowl!!!

I had heard a lot about Doug’ums high powered lawyer father and was very worry about making a bad impression on him. When I met him he was the image of Mel Brooks in a Dolphins t-shirt and a fanny-pac! It took all I had not to laugh!

We then got on the freeway headed towards Pasadena. At this point my want to laugh turn to fear, when his father missed the off ramp he wanted to take. So he put the car in reverse on a busy L.A. freeway till he was back at the off ramp.

After a visit with some of their friend we got to the Rose Bowl for the game. It was hard not to get caught up in the fun of the game. And again I was caught up with how much he reminded me of Mel Brooks!

His father and I made a bet, and the loser bought dinner. Redskins 14 - Dolphin 7

Long story short I got to go to the Super Bowl and got dinner that night as well!!! Yay Redskins! Not bad for someone that doesn’t really like sports!

A Weekends Journey

A WEEKEND JOURNEY
A Bedtime Story
Part One

Once upon a time there were two Crazy women, a Mother and Daughter,that decided to travel across the deserts of California AND Arizona at night!!!!!
Now, mind you this wasn't the first time or even thrice. They had made this trip dozens of times this was just their most recent flight.
So, into the Crazy Daughter's pickup truck they did climb, the Daughter at the wheel and the Crazy Mother on the passenger side. The Crazy Daughter's Uptight Hubby pleaded "Be careful Be careful, don't drive the whole way tonight!" Now we must be fair to the Uptight Spouse, the only people that marries into a Crazy Family, is either crazy as a loon or Uptight with good concern!
With the overloaded back seat they made their way to the freeway on ramp. Laughing and joking all the way. As they hit the freeway ramp the truck picked up speed. "Here we go," said the Crazy Daughter.
"Yes, indeed," Crazy Mother replied, as she made the sign of the cross.
" Casa Grande, here we come to see our Crazy family, and travel the desert near and wide," was their travel cry.
So down the 5 freeway they did fly, into rush hour traffic they surely would find. No traffic crunch was to be found as the sped on their way, passing town after town, they were well on their way.
Sharing gossip, counting train, they laughed and joked. Their off key sing a longs of Lightning Seeds songs occasionally filling the truck cab.
The windshield was soon full of bugs and butterflies. They tried the windshield washer, but no spray did appear. "What is wrong with our new pickup truck," cried the Crazy Daughter, "Now the windshield is full of squashed and smeared bug"
"Try it again ,"was the Crazy Mothers reply. After another passing of the wiper blades, Crazy Mother said, "That was a bad idea. The bug are more spread"
Over the mountains and El Centro in the passed, they knew Yuma was close by under
a thunder storm filled sky. Here was were they know the Uptight Hubby would want them to stay. Not even to Yuma they made up their Crazy minds, "We aren't sleepy and having too good a time! We will stop for fuel and be on our way!"
As they crossed from California to the Arizona state side, the Crazy Daughter spotted a strange yellowish light from behind. Diamond in shape, it was easy to see, it took up the rear view mirror, but, strangely not visible in either mirrors on the sides. When she turned around it was not to be found. Then up a head she saw the lights of a car, the light in the rear view mirror flickered then died. But, as the tail light of the west bound car faded from sight the diamond shape light was back, much brighter then bright.
16th street was their usual stop. They pulled into the Texaco and stop in front of their usual pump. Now let me describe in the simplest of term, the small size of the Crazy women, short, just under 5 foot 2. It must have been funny to those around to see, these two Crazy Women climbing the side of the full size truck like a couple of monkeys. Washing away all the smeared bug they could reach. Funnier still had to be the strange sight of these short Crazy Women looking at the engine as if they could see the reason the windshield washer had died. They hadn't a clue so down came the hood and off to Jack in the Box they did go.









Part Two

Into the parking lot of Jack in the Box they did go, stopping outside to make a telephone call. Uptight Hubby answered the phone. "Oh good you got there safe. Now, PLEASE stay the night."
Oh no," was the Crazy Daughters' reply, "Mother will have some coffee, and I a chocolate shake. Between the caffeine and sugar we will be up the whole night."
"I do not like this over night drive, Please reconsider," the Uptight Hubby did cry. Though he already knew he was wasting his breath! They would do as they pleased, as they always did!
Into Jack in the Box the crazy women did go. Little did the Crazy Daughter know, Crazy Mother had Her Crazy Spoiled Grandson on her mind. Up to the counter the Crazy Mother did go, asking which toys they had in their happy meals that night. Making the poor girl open bag after bag till she saw the color Crazy Spoiled Grandson did not have. So she ordered a happy meal and a large coffee to go.
"Crazy Mother," the Crazy Daughter did say, "We have a massive sandwich we hardly have touched"
" Oh, I'm not hungry, my Boy does not have this toy yet!"
So the pair left this place, with a hamburger happy meal and the Crazy Mothers', caffeine fix.
Once again, eastward bound. "We made it to Yuma in very good time." The Crazy Daughter said proud. "Let's do the something on our trek to C.G.!"
With the diamond shape light in tow. Only showing it's self when they were on the highway alone. It would grow ever whiter as on ward they'd go!
"What shall we talk of on this last part of our trip?" Crazy Mother asked.
"Well," replied the Crazy Daughter, " we spoke of all the folk we know back home, let's talk of the folks we're going to see! It's only 9:30 and we have time to delve in deep."
"Let's start with your Crazy Prison Guard Cousin, and the company she keeps." Crazy Mother decides.
Crazy Daughter and Crazy Prison Guard Cousin, you see had never been able to be in the same room without showing their claws. Last time they met it was a strange sight to see, these Crazy Cousins got along as well as can be. No claws were shown. No nasty words were exchanged. They must have been sick!
Crazy Prison Guard Cousin you see had found a love match, 6 years her junior was the man she called her Better Half! The Crazy Women had spent several hours with Crazy Prison Guard Cousin and her Cowboy named Bob!
As they drove on through the night, Crazy Mother laughed and teased. "I still can't believe that you said Cowboy Bob was NOT good enough for your Crazy Prison Guard Cousin."
Looking around at trains and other sights the could see that night. It wasn't till the next day they found it had been a moonless night!
As they approached Gila Bend, only an hour to their stop, their diamond light turned back to yellow then faded out that night.
Casa Grande was so close now, in less then an hour and they would be there. The heaven had opened earlier and the road was coated with rain, so they had to slow their pace. "We will be there almost a hour early," said the Crazy Daughter. "So there is no need to race"
" You actually driving slow?" The Crazy Mother asked "I thought you liked to fly. Never do you drive at such a slow pace."





















Part Three

Trekell Rd. off ramp was as empty as can be. So in 5 minutes or maybe less they were in downtown Casa Grande.
"Home" They cheered as the Best Western sign appeared. " We made it in one piece!"
Into the Lobby they did go, to be greeted by the staff. "Welcome back ladies," said the clerk behind the desk. "Have you been to Wal-Mart? Is this the reason your checking in so late?"
"No," replied the Crazy Women. "We have not been there yet!"
"We drove in from California, and just got to town. We do not have reservation for the night, we were told it would be all right."
"Do you have our discount card, you stay here often enough," asked the night time clerk.
"No we don't," answered the Crazy Daughter. "What discount do you have?."
"We know the two of you well, since you always stay here, we will give you tonight on the house. The next two night are half price!"
"Thank you so much. Your so very kind," the Crazy Women replied. "Is the lobby phone working, it was broken the last time."

To the lobby pay phone, after collecting their room keys. The Crazy Daughter had to call her Uptight Spouse. She dialed in the numbers and the phone began to ring. When the Uptight Hubby answered the phone, the Crazy Daughter announced, "We have arrived".
"Did you have any problems? Did you get a room?" the Uptight Hubby asked.
The Crazy Daughter said, "No there were no problems. Yes, we got a room. We got half price on the room for the next two night, and tonight is on the house."
"That is great! Do they know you're the one that broke their phone, the last time you were in town? Now please get some sleep I know you two, no shopping runs to Wal-Mart tonight. You had a long, long drive. Call me in the morning. You to must be very tired!"
The Crazy Women pulled the truck around to just in front of their door. Unloading their bags and assorted junk. They were not sleepy, so they unpacked their things, made some tea and talked till 1am!

















Part Four
Day Two

6 am came around quickly, as mornings first rays appeared. Dancing across the wall like a spider spinning it's web.
The Crazy Daughter sat up in bed and threw a pillow at her snoring Crazy Mother head. "Wake up!" she did cry. "I've got so little sleep, your snoring kept me up half the night! Roll over now, so I can get some sleep!"
From the foot of her bed the Crazy Mother lifted her covers to reveal one half opened eye, as she replied, "You know that I snore yet you asks me along, now quite your bitching so I can get some rest!"
Knowing that she would get no more sleep, the Crazy Daughter rose from her bed to see the new day. Peering out the window to see the glorious colors of the early morning desert sky. Feeling the warmth of the sun on her face, she looked down and declared, "Damn, we have to wash butterflies from the front of the truck again!"
Turning around towards the bathroom she went to get ready for the day. As the door closed behind her, smiling as she heard the television switching on as Crazy Mother was searching for the channel MTV was on. At least she was awake!
They would be gone the whole day, so the Crazy Daughter prepared a cooler with fresh veggies, juice, cheese, crackers and bread. Then put her clothes and robe away.
Crazy Mother went to the mini-fridge for her insulin injection of the day. As they were leaving the room, Crazy Mother look about the room and picked up a bag of chee-tos snacks.
"Where do we go first?" Ask The Crazy Daughter as they climbed into the truck. " You took your shot and in a short time you'll have to eat or be sick for a week!"
"Oh, I'll be just fine." The Crazy Mother said with great cheer. "Let's just stop at Denney's for fresh brewed coffee is what I must have."
So into to Denney's they did stroll the Crazy Mother ordering one coffee and one decaf to go, as the Crazy Daughter went to the phone. She had to call her Uptight Hubby before they went on their way.
Uptight Hubby answered the phone on the very first ring, "Your up early did you get enough rest? The dogs have been worried and kept me up most of the night."
"Yes I slept." She did say. "Now it's time to go wash the truck! Then down to Tucson for the day."
Uptight Hubby added in his list for the day. "Don't forget to wash the top of the cab, I just don't know how you will do it! When you get to the land remember to measure each and everything so you can draw a map! Don't forget to place our name tags on the mail box! Also remember to stay out of the sun, stay in the shade!"
Crazy Daughter just nodded, as she thought, "Why the hell didn't he do it himself when he was here! How can I stay in the shade when measuring under desert skies"
Then they said their good byes. As she hung up the phone she recalled to herself, this is how she had broken the phone.
Returning to the truck, the Crazy Mother asked, "How is your Uptight Hubby? Where do we go next? From our hotel room, I called you Crazy Aunt and Crazy Uncle, not even your Psycho Pup cousin or his wife were home."
"I told you to call them before we left on this trip." Said the Crazy Daughter. "Perhaps we won't see them this time around."
" Let's go wash the truck," said the Crazy Mother. "Then call them again."



















































Part Five

At the carwash the Crazy Daughter, with the hose in hand, climbed into the pickups bed.
"What are you doing up there?" asked the Crazy Mother, as she fed coins into the slots. "What setting do you want?"
" I have to clean the top of the cab. This is the only way I can." the Crazy Daughter said with a smile. " Let start with high pressure wash."
"High pressure wash it is. Let's hope it doesn't sent you tumbling from the back of the truck. Don't forget your not 90 pounds yet!"
"Crazy Mother please," She sighed . "We've used these things before"
With a sputter then a whoosh, the soapy water came with greater pressure then the Crazy Daughter had hoped. It almost sent her flying. The Crazy Mother looked on with concern. Concern gave way to laughter at the sight. "I told you, I warned you. Your such a funny sight!! "
Crazy Mothers laughter turned into a shriek, as Crazy Daughter, in an attempt to gain control, pointed the spray almost straight in the air. Down came a shower of cold soapy water right on Crazy Mothers head.
Now the Crazy Daughter laughed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! That was not planned. I had no control!"
Crazy Mother said, while shaking the water from her hair. "I want to believe you. Really I do! You must understand, it hard to believe you when your laughing so had you can barely stand!! "
"Now be more careful, I do not want a third shower for the day"
So the two Crazy Women washed the truck and were on their way.
Beads of water sparkled in the bright clear morning sun. Casting little rainbow, that dance upon the hood.
"Maybe we should have dried it before we went along our way." Crazy Mother said.
"Why?" the Crazy Daughter asked. "The sun is warm and the way that we drive, it will be dry in two blocks flat! Are you hungry yet? You still have to eat!"
"No I fine, my coffee has cooled to just the right temp!" "We should stop so I can call your Crazy Aunt and Crazy Uncle again."
"Where shall stop?" Asked the Crazy Daughter with a grin.
"Your such a funny girl. You know damn well were I'd like to go!"
"Don't forget, Crazy Mother, you angered your God! You asked to go some where other then the house of the all powerful Lord Wally, and he's a jealous God!"
"He will forgive me that one mistake." The Crazy Mother replied. I will grovel and beg mercy for this one mistake."
"Well you better, or they will remove you from the place!"
Down Florence Blvd., Casa Grande's main drag, headed for the freeway, with a stop at Wal- Mart along the way.









Part Six

Now before our little story goes much farther it must be known, in and around this town of Casa Grande, is where most of Crazy Mothers siblings are found. Four Crazy Aunts, one Crazy Uncle and a multitude of Crazy Cousins with their Crazy Children. The Crazy Aunt they were stopping to call, married a Crazy Man and had two Psycho Pup sons. Psycho Pup Number One gave them Crazy Baby Cakes, a little Grandson.

Into the vast Wal-Mart parking lot they drove. Parking the truck off to one side.
"Damn it Crazy Daughter," the Crazy Mother cried. "Don't you know how to park close to the stores!"
"Stop complaining!" Crazy Daughter said "It's good exercise to stretch your short legs. Let us go find the phones!"
As they approached the Crazy Mothers Wal-Mart shrine, they spied the pay phone by the door.
"Oh, it's occupied!" Crazy Mother said.
"Look closer and you'll see, it's the Crazy Uncle you tried to call!"
As Crazy Uncle hung up the phone he turn to see his Crazy Sister-in-law and Crazy Niece. He smile as he greeted them and said, "Well, it's about damn time. I knew you'd show up here. You always do!"
"Crazy Uncle how are you?" asked the Crazy Daughter as she gave him a hug. "What is this in your hand? A glass of orange juice!?"
" Well there goes our belief if cut you would bleed hot coffee not blood!" Crazy Mother added in.
"Well" Said the Crazy Uncle, "You should never assume! When did you get in? You should have called us then!"
"We got in passed 11 PM, and didn't wish to wake you." The Crazy Women said.
"Well hell we were up," Crazy Uncle said with a grin. We bought 30 pounds of chilies and your Crazy Sister has been roasting them for the last week! Let's go inside so you can visit your shrine, Wally World awaits you just inside these doors. As we shop tell me your plans for the day ahead."
So into Wal-Mart they wandered about talking of the days plans. Crazy Uncle was going to Chandler for the day, looking for toys to go with his sporty little cars. The Crazy Women were headed south to check on Crazy Daughter land. Then the two would explore, Tucson, the town that would soon be Crazy Daughter home.
As the trio departed the store, they made plans to meet later that night.
"Good bye Crazy Uncle. We will see you tonight!" The Crazy Women said.
"Good Bye, Crazy Women have a safe trip."

As they pulled out of the lot Crazy Daughter said, "I saw no groveling or begging Crazy Mother. Once again you angered your God."
"What is he going to do?" Defiantly asked Crazy Mother. "Give me bad credit."
"To late for that!" Crazy Daughter laughed.








Part Seven

By 10: 30 am, these Crazy Women were almost to Crazy Daughters land. Taking in the beauty of the mountains and the clear mid-morning sky. Crazy Mother rattled on with the same old stories she always told when she got bored.
"We 're almost to Ina Road. With a multitude of restaurants around, do you want to stop and eat?" Asked the Crazy Daughter.
"No, I'm do not! Now let me be." Snapped Crazy Mother. "I will let you know when I want to eat!"
"Well let's just hope you don't faint first." Replied the Crazy Daughter. "We're always forgetting to eat!"

Exiting the freeway they headed west. Over the cactus studded mountains of the National Monument. Passing houses large and small, till they reached Trail Dust Road. Pulling into the oversized dirt driveway and driving through open the gate.
"See what I mean, these people were such jerks" Crazy Daughter growled. "They didn't even have decency to close the gate! Did you see my mail Box? Let get start measuring the land."
"It so big Crazy Daughter, must we measure each inch?"
"Yes we must Crazy Mother! If we don't my Uptight Hubby will be upset! This is why we made this trip. It's not that big, just an acre and a half!"
So out of the truck the Crazy Women slid, Crazy Mother grabbing her bag of Chee-tos snacks and Crazy Daughter a note pad, pencil and a giant measuring tape.
"Where shall we start? There's so much here" Crazy Mother asked in between munches on her Chee-tos snacks.
Measurement after measurement the Crazy Pair measured all that was there. Jumping over plants they landed on many ant hills. By the back fence they heard a rattle and Crazy Mother decided to call it a day. For more then two hours they measured what was there.
"If you think I'm going to measure the entire fence Crazy Daughter your just plain nuts!" Crazy Mother whined. "The sun is too hot and is burning my scalp."
"Well let's just measure a couple of panels and hope there all the same." Crazy Daughter replied.
"Do as you like. I'll go looking for the mail box" Crazy Mother said as she turned. Leaving Crazy Daughter to measure the fences and gate.
Crazy Daughter was wondering around when she heard Crazy Mother speaking to someone. Running to the front gate and down the driveway. "I don't believe it. You've done it again, meeting my new neighbors before my Uptight Hubby and I can!"
Crazy Mother turned with a smile. "I found your mail box. This is New Neighbor Bill."
"It nice to meet you." Said New Neighbor Bill. "The last people that lived there were down right scary!"
"Well with us there is nothing to fear. It's just my Uptight Hubby, myself and four Crazy Fat Dogs!"
"Come on Crazy Mother lets go lock up the gate and let New Neighbor Bill get back to work. We still have much to do."

Locking the gate Crazy Daughter climb back into the truck where Crazy Mother waited.
"It's so beautiful out here, Crazy Daughter. I'm sure you'll be happy. Your new neighbor seems very nice! Please turn on the air conditioner, it's hotter then hell!"
So the Crazy Women were on their way, to see what trouble they could get into for the rest of the day!
























Part Eight


South Tucson was the very next stop. Here Crazy Daughter was suppose to choose a new house.
"Crazy Mother your looking kind of pale. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm feeling fine. Is this the place?" Crazy Mother replied. As they pulled into a parking space.
In and out of the modal home they roamed. Not having what Crazy Daughter wanted, she turned to Crazy Mother, who had become quite ill!
"Crazy Mother you must now eat! Look at you!! You're as pale as a ghost! I begged you! I asked you! I'll take you to the hospital, if you don't now behave!!!"
"Into the truck now, Crazy mother!!!" Crazy Daughter said with a shove.
On the road again, they made their way, to a South Tucson restaurant. It was late in the day.
"Now where is the restaurant, that we were told, was the best place around?" Crazy Daughter asked, as she wandered around, the area of Tucson where most gang members can be found.
Crazy Mother was no help. "Look at that place, let's stop there!" Then half way through the U-turn she said. " No I changed my mind. Let's go to Micha's as we planned!"
"Crazy Mother, I'm telling you now! No more changing your mind! I've made ten illegal U-turn in less then 4 blocks!!! I'll take you to Micha's but you must behave. Or it's Mc Donald's for you, not even Jack in the Box!"
"Yuck! I will behave! You're being so cruel. I have to eat, my vision is getting blurry!
"Gee, I wonder why?" Crazy Daughter teased, "I guess I should have asked you to eat!"
"That's enough out of you!" Crazy Mother replied. "I don't remember seeing you eat either!
"True, But I can still see! There it is straight ahead! We waited so long It's after 4, I don't even feel like eating. This better be good."

Coming to a halt they sliding from the truck.
"The parking lot is almost empty, are you sure this is the place??" Crazy Mother asked, as the two Crazy Women hung on each other as they stumbled their way in.
"I don't think it matter at this point. Look at us we can hardly walk. This will have to do!"
"True, besides I don't think I can make it back to the truck" Crazy Mother sighed.
Laughing out loud, Crazy Daughter couldn't help herself. "It's Saturday night and we are walking like drunks!"
"Yes," Crazy Mother added. "If this is how we walk, just imagine how you were driving."
"Well I don't remember anything and I don't see a line of police cars that might have followed us, it must not have been too bad!!"

Fighting together the weight of the great heavy door. Into Micha's these Crazy women




Part Nine


The cool of the restaurant hit them with a slap, bring an end to their cackling laugh. Trying hard to behave as they were lead to their table.
"Would you like something to drink?" the waiter said with a cautious glare.
"We want big glasses of water right now!" Crazy Mother said.
The waiter handed them the menus and went on his way.
"What shall we have?" Crazy Mother asked. "I'm no longer hungry now!"
"Well we are supposed to have dinner with Crazy Uncle and Aunt! Maybe some soup or a salad would do."
" Yes Crazy Daughter, you're right."
So the browsed the menu to see what they liked, it was hard to choose, the liked most everything!! Snacking on the chip and salsa, they were having trouble in making up their Crazy minds!! Back and forth the poor waiter did go, waiting for a decision to come in! Finally he made a brave stab, "Let me choose for you. Do you Like Carne Asada? we make a very good one in chimi style."
The Crazy Women agreed in a snap. "Wonderful!!" Crazy Mother declared. We're not thinking to clear!
Off to the kitchen to place the order, the waiter turned with a knowing smile!
Sitting across from one another, partly recovered, Crazy Mother said. "You look like hell, Crazy Daughter! Oh I forgot to ask for a side of beans"
To that Crazy Daughter returned. "You look no better! The waiter will come back soon, you can order it then! I have to go to the truck I want to look at the home floor plans we got."
Up and out the door, leaving Crazy mother on her own. By the time she got back their food was there.
"What is this?" Crazy Daughter asked. you order your bean and a tortilla, why not just order it as a burrito?"
"I wasn't think. Don't you dare say it"
" I'm sorry that's too easy Crazy Mother, when do you think!"
"Just eat your food and behave! It's all very good I think you will like it. They brought an extra plate so we can share."
Picking at the assorted foods on the table, they ate till they were full. They order a dinner to go, for Crazy Aunt and Uncle.
" This is really good, but there's still too much food!!" Both Crazy Women said.
"We can take it with us." Crazy Daughter sighed. "We have a microwave in our hotel room."
"Great!" Crazy Mother said. "Let's get going"
Paying the bill, they went on their way.

INDEX

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